Gilded Disaster
by RandyPandy
Summary: Galuf has misplaced everyone's Gil, and the only way to replace it fast is to get some from the Gil Cave. Shenanigans ensue. FFV.


**Disclaimer:** Final Fantasy V does not belong to me in any shape or form, it belongs to Square. I wrote this fanfic for fun and for KupoCon's Fanworks Contest.

 **Prompts Used:**  
-1. A character decides to try something new, something no one could have guessed.  
-2. Someone has misplaced their Gil. Everyone else suffers the consequences.

Some headcanons are thrown in, such as that each Crystal Shard only reacts to the bearer of their essence, but over all this can fit in canon. Figured it would make writing any fics about the game more interesting.

* * *

"Tell me again," Bartz said slowly, "why we are coming to this dank, dark little cave in the middle of a mountain range again?"

"Because this old seadog _lost_ all of our Gil!" Faris growled, taking a peek inside the cavern. It appeared to be made of a red brick, and while it wasn't all that dank at all, dark was a very apt description. "All of our hard-earned, scavenged Gil!" Galuf had been holding onto the money they had while they were in Drakenvale, but when they came out, all the Gil was gone. And they were _not_ going back there.

"I told you, it's not a problem!" Galuf said, raising his hands at the steaming pirate. "Besides, we need a little side venture until the wind drake is healed up so we can visit Sage Ghido, eh?"

"I swear, old man, if you get Lenna and the rest of us killed-" Faris's eye was twitching; the purple-haired pirate captain did not approve of this venture in the least, not especially when her sweet little sister was at risk.

"Faris... I can handle myself," Lenna assured her. "Galuf, where did you say this Gil was, again?"

Galuf pointed to a small, narrow hallway in the cavern. "In there. There's literally piles and piles of Gil just sitting there, waiting to be picked up. There's, ahem, just one catch."

"…What catch would that be?" Bartz asked, not liking where this was going in the least.

The king of Bal gave a rather sheepish smile, taking a step back from his fellowship of Crystal Shard bearers. "That hallway is home to a rather vicious species of turtle, and if you step in there and go scooping up the Gil, they'll be bound to beat you up. The further in you go, the more likely you'll be attacked. Why, we have so many tales about them in Bal, and they are some of the worst creatures to ever exist."

"You are _joking_ , Galuf," Bartz said, his voice flat as he took a step towards Galuf. "After all that we've been through, you want us to replace our money by invading the homes of monstrous turtles."

Lenna quickly stepped in between the two of them, her hands out to push the two men away from each other. "Let's not get into a fight amongst ourselves. Galuf, you said there were lots of tales about it. Can you tell us if any of those tales spoke of a weakness?"

At Lenna's behest, Bartz took a step back as Galuf frowned. "Well, let's see… we call them the Gil Turtle because of where they live, and they _really_ hate cold temperatures and can easily freeze to death, which is why they're settled here and not anywhere else. They have a shell so hard that even the strongest of blades just bounce right off, and when desperate, they rip the earth apart. They're rumored to come from hell, so far deep that not even the holiest of magic can harm them, and they can counter just about every attack that is thrown with deadly accuracy and toxins drip from its mouth, a mere touch can poison even the strongest of men."

The other two stared at Galuf as Faris rummaged through their equipment. There was an unexpected advantage to carting the Crystal Shards around with them: their magical aura had enchanted the bags with infinite space, and with the Wind Crystal in tow, they were light as a feather as well. "Let's get dressed. We're gonna need all the help we can get."

* * *

Several Protect, Blink, Haste, and Float spells later, the newly-equipped fellowship, having only nursery tales of the Gil Turtle to go on, cautiously entered the cavern.

Galuf had been quite unhappy when he remembered that they hadn't recovered many Earth Crystal shards, and therefore he was the most limited on what he could do. The Dragoon, Samurai, and Dancer Shards were all physical, and he was out of the Chemist's ingredients. In the end, he picked the Samurai Shard due to how quickly he was able to read the enemy's movements and evade them, but kept the Chemist Shard on hand to heal them in case they got poisoned. Besides, he looked completely ridiculous in the Dancer outfit, and as a Samurai, he could wear the shiny golden armor pieces befitting a king that he had recently purchased.

The others had had it easier, with nice magical shards that they could depend upon and forgoing the physical-based ones for now. Of course all of them had taken the three Elven Mantles they'd had (Galuf wanted one, but they needed it more) as well as the magical apparel Sage's Miter and Gaia Gear to keep them safe.

Faris picked the Fire Crystal's Bard Shard, understanding that the 'Requiem' song could destroy even the strongest of undead monsters, but kept the Ninja Shard on hand for its ability to cast false images of herself. She was still a pirate, after all, and no turtle was going to get the best of her!

Bartz had immediately donned the Wind Crystal's Black Mage Shard and a Blizzard Rod, eager to play with the most powerful of Ice Magics, Blizzaga. But he still kept the White Mage Shard just in case the Gil Turtle got a good hit off on one of them.

And quiet, calm Lenna, after casting Float and Haste spells with the Time Mage Shard, had chosen the Water Crystal's Summoner Shard, her gentle voice coaxing the Golem they had befriended on the journey to Drakenvale to help protect them with its own magic, while readily supporting Bartz and Faris in either healing or attacking with the Red Mage Shard and its ability to cast two spells at once.

"This had better be worth it," Bartz said, cautiously kneeling down with Faris to scoop up some of the Gil from the ground. The entrance to the cavern didn't have a lot of Gil, but there seemed to be a huge pile of it at the end of the rather narrow tunnel.

"It will be," Galuf said. "Hah! Have I ever steered you wrong?"

"You'd think a king would keep a better eye on his Gil…" the young man muttered, but shook his head and continued scooping up the pieces of Gil. Lenna and Faris were not too far from them, the pirate captain specifically remaining close to her younger pink-haired sister as they stuffed Gil into the bag.

They'd managed to grab a decent amount – just enough to replace all of what Galuf had lost – when they heard a loud growl. Faris's head shot up, instantly alert, her eyes narrowed as she studied something not too far away from them. "…That is a Gil Turtle, aye?"

The creature was definitely shaped like a turtle, with glinting black eyes and greyish-green scales. It was staring at them as it lumbered out from one of the many pocks that dotted this small hallway.

"Yup, that's a Gil Turtle." Galuf held his shield in front of him defensively as the turtle, decidedly _not_ happy at the humans invading its home, roared and leaped at them, disturbing the piles and piles of Gil that were in the area. Luckily, the attack did not hit as the Golem Lenna had summoned earlier shifted up the pile of earth to keep it from hitting them.

"It's fast for a turtle!" Bartz yelped, jumping aside before readying a Blizzaga spell against it. Lenna stumbled away as well before casting Blizzara on it to back Bartz up. The musical tones from Faris's Lamia Harp made it very clear that she was playing a tune – quiet, yet haunting – and that the turtle froze up upon hearing.

Still, none of it was enough to render it completely harmless, and the Gil Turtle reared back on its hind legs before its neck shot out to bite Bartz, and then Lenna – only to be blocked or evaded both times. Faris was staying far back from the rest of them, her fingers strumming the harp in a tune that she was using pure instinct to play. The fact she'd taken music lessons back when she'd lived in the castle didn't hurt, either, which was what had prompted her to go for the pianos in the various towns. Some part of her remembered how to play.

Galuf mostly hung back as the other three fought the Gil Turtle, blocking with his shield and Main Gauche and using Samurai tricks to avoid getting hit. Once, Bartz got poisoned and he had to use the Chemist's toxin-healing ability to help him, but that was just once. Not for the first time, he felt useless in this situation. If only he'd had his Chemist ingredients and had retrieved that mystical Angel Robe from the castle…!

The old man mentally pressed against the Samurai Shard that he was using, willing it to have _something_ useful for him to use against the Gil Turtle. Hell's bells, he'd been a Dawn Warrior! He'd defeated Exdeath thirty years ago and was the king of Bal! And yet it was Dorgann's son and two princesses fighting while he hung back like a coward.

Most of the techniques the Samurai Shard imbued him with were fairly useless – physical attacks. However, one of them sounded quite promising, a special attack called 'Zeninage' that required no physical weapons.

"Hey kids! I'm going to try something new!"

Bartz cast another Blizzaga, the Frost Rod glowing as he did so, watching as the Gil Turtle stumbled back. "It had better be good! Is it good?!"

"I don't know!" he yelled back. "I have never tried it before!"

Lenna dualcast a Blizzara at the Gil Turtle and then a Cura on the rest of them, and turned towards Galuf curiously. "If you are going to try something, Galuf, now would be the best time to do it."

"Aye!" Faris agreed.

"Alright, then, here we go…" Galuf took a deep breath, sheathing his Main Gauche, and called upon the shard of the Earth Crystal for his new ability. " _Zeninage_!"

The Gil Turtle gave a screech, knocked back as Gil flew everywhere, disturbed both by the turtle and the old Samurai's moves. Galuf grinned, relieved that he was able to help in some way, as his three companions _stared_. He turned towards them, only to realize that the expressions on their faces were not pleasant.

"What?" Hey, their combined efforts had defeated the Gil Turtle!

A loud 'twang' came from Faris's Lamia Harp as she all but slammed it to the ground, her eye twitching.

" _GALUF YOU YELLOW-BELLIED CUR, THAT MOVE USED ALL OF OUR GIL!"_

A pause. Galuf checked the contents of their bag for Gil. Not a single coin remained; all of it was now scattered throughout the hallway due to Zeninage, and they would be lucky if they could pick it all back up without encountering another Gil Turtle.

"…Whoops."

* * *

The strategy the group used is based off of my own strategy for the Gil Turtle. XD Yes, I did accidentally Zeninage it once, but I didn't lose all our Gil like poor Galuf did.


End file.
